God’s Vessel

I’ve been meaning to write this

Life’s complicated

I don’t get why earlier on in life I had the hope that I could live a “long” life.

No one can live a long life

Not one is promised with that

With the short life allocated to each of us

You can only hope for a happy & healthy life

I may have missed out on this chance

I regret the times I was reckless

reckless with my life decisions

that now have negative implications on my health

I wish I was innocent again

I wish I never got to know of this cruel evil world by being forced into it

I wish I could amend my past wrongs

I wish to be healthy

I wish to be put right with God again

It bothers me how we are so attached to the things of this world

How it’s difficult to eternally part from family, friends, experiences, goals

It’s crazy how no one but God knows and can explain how this soul within our mere mortal bodies are so attached to each other

That when you’re physically battered and bruised within because of illness

YOU KNOW AND WILL KNOW HOW BAD IT HURTS.. UNBEARABLE!

What’s it like to see your soul detach from your body?

To God, a day is equivalent to a thousand years

Time is going by swiftly and fast

The time I have now I have to use wisely

For God’s purpose

This evening during devotion I was reminded of how compassionate my God is

“And so I walk in the presence of the LORD in the world of the living.

I kept on believing, even when I said, “I am completely crushed” even when I was afraid and said “No one can be trusted”.

~ Psalms 116:9-11

I have committed so many wrongs

That I mostly hate myself for it and would think I don’t deserve God’s grace and mercy

That my prayers are ignored

But I was proven wrong by God tonight

As much as I over-contemplate my existence, my purpose, my difficulties in life

I know God

I serve a God

who EXISTS

who KNOWS everything detail about me

who is in ETERNAL CONTROL of everyone’s lives

I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE GOD’S LOVE IS REAL

GOD’S LOVE IS FOR ME

HE KNOWS WHAT’S BEST FOR ME

GOD I PRAY THAT YOU DESTROY EVERY EVIL FORCE THAT IS AGAINST MY LIFE AND MY FAMILY’S LIVES

THAT IS AGAINST MY NEED TO SERVE YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY

IT IS HOLDING ME CAPTIVE

SET ME FREE LORD JESUS

I TRULY AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU

DON’T LET THE LIFE YOU CREATED FOR ME GO TO WASTE

USE ME LORD FOR YOUR PURPOSE

LIVE IN ME

HELP ME TO MAINTAIN MY WALK IN FAITH WITH YOU

MAY THIS LIVING WORD OF FAITH BE ACTIVATED TONIGHT TILL THE DAY I RETURN TO YOU LORD JESUS

IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME, I PRAY

AMEN

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